This entry has been started 347 times. My head is a jumble.
Let's go back to last week for a moment. That's kind of when all this started. Well, that might not be true. Maybe it is more accurate to state that at that point most of this shit started to boil over. Again.
Have you ever met someone and when you have had physical contact with them there was something like an electric jolt? Not static electricity. There is a difference and if you have ever experienced this you know exactly what I am talking about. I have had it happen with exactly three individuals in my life. I can name them and tell you the precise moment it occurred.
The latest time was last week, but it wasn't the first time with that individual. None the less I was taken aback when it did happen. You also know when it happens because you get that look from the other individual involved. You are just going to have to trust me that you will know the look. If you are getting it from me it will look like I am going to piss myself and pass out. Really.
Anyway, back to the guy. I don't know much about him. I met him one other time, shook his hand, got the look & then we carried on a conversation like we had known each other forever. Well, quite by accident I saw him again last week. He did all the talking as I was so verklempt I couldn't get anything out. As he was leaving he put his arm around me. According to my friend I looked like I was going to pass out. Nice. I made an ass out of myself. I couldn't talk AND looked like I was going to fall down into a crumple. These are true FML worthy moments.
I relayed the entire thing to Jeb. He was amazed by the fact that I couldn't say anything to the guy. According to him I must be "smitten" if I couldn't talk. Bah! I don't need this. I have been instructed by Jeb to talk to him again at all costs. Apparently I have too much of a wall up. I have to let it down and this is, supposedly, as good a time as any to do it. That whole prospect scares the shit out of me. Let me wall down? Are you fucking insane?!? Every time I do that I am the one that ends up getting fucked over. At the same time I would like to know what could happen.
Damn my self image issues!
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