Entry: All over the place Thursday, October 06, 2011



Someone asked me why I didn't write anymore. Well, I never really considered blog entries writing in the formal sense. To me, they are just the poorly strung together phrases of a bitter chick that is possibly a tad mental. It never occurred to me that people might actually like reading this shit. I still think the people that do like reading this are in the minority. At the same time I miss writing all the time.

Writing and other creative endeavors have always kept me busy. If I am busy I have less time to think about what my life has or hasn't become. I don't have time to think about what is missing. I don't have time to obsess, which is what I do. Not to mention the fact that I can't sit still to save my ass unless I am doing something with my hands. That's how I ended up playing WoW for a while. It was literally something to do with my hands and then I ended up liking it. Now I am firmly into the crafting camp.

I am well aware that I am ADHD, but I refuse to take medication for it. I'm not big on taking any medication really. Instead, I really try to keep myself busy. I am constantly doing something. Let's put it this way, I can't sit and watch a movie in the theater without fidgeting like whoa. Jeb suggested taking knitting with me as something to keep my hands busy. It really is a fine suggestion other than the fact that I can't knit. I've tried, but I have yet to be successful. Even when I watch movies at the cave I have to be doing something else. Usually I am sewing, doing a cross stitch or some multimedia something or other. I just can't fucking sit still.

My brain never shuts the fuck up either. It is constantly going. You can guarantee that any important decision I have made in the last 25 years has been over thought. I have literally considered every possible scenario. The good and the bad. I can't just be spontaneous with some things. Fuck, I can't be spontaneous with most things. It sucks, but it's true. I lead a fairly boring life except for those few moments every now and then when I act like a normal human being and say "fuck it." I really wish I had more of those moments in my life.

I don't even leave much to chance on vacation. I have several things planned already and I still have a month or so to go. I get there on Tuesday morning. Wednesday I have an excursion planned (thank you bus system!). Thursday I have another excursion planned (thanks again public transportation) as well as a hockey game. Tuesday & Friday are my free days although I am sure Jeb will have something planned for Friday night. Saturday I shall be visiting the happiest place on earth and Sunday I head home in the evening. In between all those times I also have every intention of sitting on the beach doing nothing. See, I just can't leave shit to chance.

I plan on looking at a lot of this on vacation


That being said, I asked a friend for crafting suggestions, but I ended up deciding on several projects before I ever got an answer. So now on deck are a Halloween costume, a shrine and about ten Christmas presents. I suspect that by Thanksgiving I will be scrounging for more stuff to do. Feel free to hurl suggestions my way.

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