It has come to my attention that my Canadian cousin, Miss G, hasn't a clue about the show Vega$ or its lead character, Dan Tana.  And Vega$ came to the attention of Miss G, because KTOAB wanted to know if I see Mr. Tana toodling around town. 

I loved this show.  Late 70's network super cheesy television at its finest.  You can still find it on occasionally.  Dan Tana was played by Robert Urich.  Basically, it was the good looking PI saves the stupid blonde (OK, so every once in a while there was a brunette) week after week.  I mean, the first six episodes referenced women  or love in the title.

Centerfold
The Games Girls Play

For some reason I was poking around looking for dead people today when I came across the Who's Alive and Who's Dead site. With this one you can only browse by category. Boring but useful if you need something quick.

Now Dead or Alive? is an even better site. You can search by cause of death. That's the BEST! Even obscure stuff like Myasthenia gravis (most common primary disorder of neuromuscular transmission. The usual cause is an acquired immunological abnormality, but some cases result from genetic abnormalities at the neuromuscular junction.) which is what Aristotle Onasis died from.

Yes, I am easily amused.

Let's begin the day with a nice little news bit.  Seems a gentleman (I use the term loosely & you'll see why in just a moment) over in Germany is facing some jail time.  Not so unusual.  Many, many people all over the world face this every day.  This jackoff may go to jail for teaching his black lab, which he named Adolf, to raise his right paw on command.  No big deal eh?  Let me put it another way, he's taught his dog to give the 'ol Heil Hitler.  "Tach would then command “Adolf — Gruss” and his dog would raise his paw. The Heil Hitler salute was also known as the Hitler Gruss — Hitler greeting — during the 12-year Nazi regime."  Seems the guy is an Aryan too.  Go figure.  Read about it here.

I was thinking about the bears & their candy addiction today.  So, I whipped up a batch of Rice Krispie Treats.  Of course I made them with white & dark Ghirardelli chocolate chunks.  No, you can't have any.  Keep your dick skinners off them or I'll hurt you.  That is unless you are Miss G or Cat.

Word of the Day
caliginous - kę-'li-ję-nęs - adjective
Dim, murky, obscure

congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Nerdslut

What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

Now this nerdslut thing.  It kind of scares me.  Really.  It does.  Cat, am I a nerdslut?  And if so, is that a good thing?  With the bunny, well like that was a surprise to anyone.  Sheeeesh

And now for something completely different.....
Seems that hunters are to blame for the candy addiction of black bears in North Carolina.  The hunters use the candy as bait for the bears.  What animal is gonna turn down a 2,000 pound block of candy?  This animal wouldn't.  However, the bears are suffering the ill effects of the evil known as sugar.  From tooth decay to weight loss & everything in between.  One park ranger said he found a bear "lying down in the middle of the road, moaning and unwilling to move out of the vehicle's way. He compared the image to that of humans addicted to cocaine."

My question is this.... since this candy is like blow to bears, is there a den somewhere with a bunch of bears lying around mainlining?  Would rock candy, lollipops or any hard candy be the bear equivalent of crack?  Would speedballs be a wheel barrow full of truffles?  These are the things that muttle my brain.

I have received a message that seemed to me to be from a very distraught individual.  Apparently, my lust, if you wish to call it that, for Penn Jillette has them questioning my sanity.  This person feels that no one could possibly find the man attractive even after copious amounts of alcohol & hallucinogenic drugs.  Let's address this.

First off, the old cliché "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is something you should look into.  I find him attractive on many levels.  So let's break down why I find him attractive.

Humor - the man has tons of it.  I don't know what he's like in person.  I've never met the man.  However, if he's even remotely as funny off stage as he is on, he'll have me pissing my pants in a matter of minutes.  I find this trait is always high on my list.

Intelligence - being that he writes very coherently & has his stuff published in numerous journals, I'm going to go out on a limb & say that he is, most definitely, intelligent.  In case you haven't stumbled upon anything he's written, he writes a lot of political pieces.  Intelligence is a must have for me.  I don't want someone that isn't able to hold a coherent conversation.  I like to be challenged.  People that aren't intelligent pose no sort of challenge for me.

Height - he's 6'6".  Yes, this is a superficial trait on my part.  Nothing gets me excited faster than a smart, funny, tall man.

Looks have never been a big thing with me.  Let's face it, someone can be the best looking thing walking the face of the earth, but if you can't stand their personality, what the hell does it matter?  At some point, you are going to want to, at the very least, punch them in their perfect little face for being a complete ass.  Case in point, Nick Lachey & Jessica Simpson.  He's going to kill her one day for saying something stupid.  I don't care how hot you are, if you can't form a complete sentence, I'm going to throw your ass under a bus & then dance on your body.

Now, my inquisitor mentioned something about my sanity.  Let me say here & now that at no point in time have I ever claimed to be sane.  Besides, a person's sanity all depends on another's point of view.  Take Leslie for example.  Just because he dresses in women's clothing & hangs out on the streets of Austin with signs proclaiming various social & political injustices (namely his mistreatment by the Austin Police Department), people think he's not sane.  I happen to think he is.  Just because he scares the bajeezus out of me doesn't make him any less sane in my book.  Bottom line, think what you will, I don't really care.

One last thing.  I will be making a rare night time public appearance this weekend at the House of Blues inside Mandalay Bay.  Saliva will be playing.  It will also be a small gathering of people remembering my late brother.  Of course we will be drunk off our asses, but that's the way he would have wanted it.  So, if you happen to be in town that night, toodle on down.  If you're lucky, you might find me in a venue of at least a thousand people.

Word of the Day

Yesterday, I had lunch in Mr. Lucky's at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino.  The food is mediocre at best.  I've eaten there more than I care to admit.  Since I generally sit in the smoking section, I am almost always seated in a booth next to this huge pieced picture of Jim Morrison.  I don't have a problem with the subject matter of the picture itself.  Its like a giant head shot of the guy, but I do have a monumental problem with the picture itself.


That's a crude representation of the damn thing.  All the pieces are correct except the bottom right one.  ITS THE WRONG DAMN PIECE.  There is one more row to the picture.  It goes at the top.  Apparently, the bottom right piece was lost somewhere.  So they put the piece that should be at the top right in its place & hoped no one would notice.  It makes me nuts.  I can't stand things like that. 

Every time I see it I think of that scene from the Cincinnati Kid where Melba (Ann-Margaret) is sitting on the bed doing a jigsaw puzzle while talking to her husband Shooter (Karl Malden).  She starts sawing on the puzzle pieces with a nail file to make them fit.  Shooter tells her something to the effect of, "You know, you are only cheating yourself."  They cheated themselves!  Not to mention the fact that they are making me absolutely nuts with the stupid thing.  Its a conspiracy I tell you.

On a lighter note,  there is more food art.  YAY!  I was waiting for my eternally slow waitress to come back with my change when I was at Gardunos in the Palms.  I get bored easily & I can't sit still for two seconds.  So, what was left of my Zia Salad became the newest edition to my food art.  Nothing spectacular, however, the people at the table behind me had a few comments.  Apparently, they thought I was being slightly uncooth.  They can lick me.  You'll have to excuse the picture.  I still haven't replaced the batteries in the camera yet & they are super low.

Word of the Day
synecdoche - suh-NEK-duh-kee - noun
a figure of speech by which a part is put for the whole or vice versa, the species for the genus or vice versa, or the name of the material for the thing made

OK, so not both of them.  Just Penn.  Penn Jillette to be exact, all 6'6" of him.  He would be commonly referred to as the vocal half of, well, Penn & Teller.  Don't ask on this one, damn you, just accept it.  Some things you can't explain people.  However, I do know that every time I pass that damn sign on the freeway, I want to pull over and...... nevermind.  He's a funny, funny man.  Humor goes a long way with me.  Next month, I actually get to go see the show.  I'll be giddy like a school girl. 

Just for giggles, you should read [this].  I laughed so hard I snorted.  I have to go to the can now.

No, I didn't forget the word of the day.  I bet you thought I did.  Well.... NEENER to you because I didn't.