No, I didn't forget the word of the day.  I bet you thought I did.  Well.... NEENER to you because I didn't.

Please note:  this was orginally posted to my journal [here].  But I thought I would share it with you nice folks.  In case you bother to read it, the original date was Super Bowl Sunday, whatever day that was.  I'm guessing it was a Sunday. *shrugs*

Its no secret that I hate people. Not people with any particular ethnic background, just people in general. If you are breathing and have opposable thumbs, chances are, I hate you. And no, I don't hate primates, they generally have better social skills than most humans.

There are particular age groups that I take pity on. If you are elderly, its possible that I will give you a chance. I mean come on, anyone that was a young adult in the 1940's dressed in the most stylish clothes ever imagined deserves the chance to not be hated on sight.

I especially despise anyone under the age of 18. I think there should be a leash law for children. I also think that if your child annoys me, I should have the right to spank their whiny ass. There is a lack of corporal punishment in today's society which I feel is the reason that the world is going to shit. But, I shall continue the "I hate kids" diatribe later. I can go on for days. I can't wait to see the shitty comments I get with this entry. But this entry is about people in general, not just you, my emotionally downtrodden little titty bags.

Today was *gag* super bowl Sunday. Whoopty fuckin do. First of all, I abhor football. Its the most asinine thing next to golf. Second, I hate football fans even more. They are so obnoxious. They yell, they scream and they have a total disregard for even semi-acceptable social behavior. On super bowl Sunday, they forget they are even human.

You can see them at super bowl parties all over town. These jackasses even come from far, far away to go to these parties. First they spend money on transportation, whichever mode that may be. Then they pay horrendously inflated room rates. If that weren't enough, they are even willing to pay upwards of $100 to sit in a room with a bunch of other drunk morons to watch a fucking football game on a big screen and eat worse food than they would get at a stadium. So please don't tell me these people are not retarded. Something is definitely wrong with their wiring.

Once this "party" is over, they filter out into the casino. Drunk off cheap $1 draft beer and flatulent (imagine, if you will, feeding a geriatric individual a plate full of brussel sprouts and multiply that X 100) from the "gourmet" fare. They proceed to run (yes, RUN) around the casino screaming at the top of their lungs for whichever team of over paid muscle heads won the game of keep away. Cue a group of their drunk comrades who were backing the team that lost the game. I am sure you can imagine the outcome. There has to be as much security in a casino on super bowl Sunday as there is on New Year's Eve.

Why people act like this is beyond me. What kills me even more is that once they leave these parties, so shit faced they don't know they aren't suppose to piss on the sidewalk, they get into their rented vehicles and drive. Yes folks, the most popular past time here in fabulous Sin City is drinking and driving. Tourists are aware of this and hope that if they do get stopped before they kill someone, the cop will take pity on their ignorant ass because they are a tourist and didn't know they weren't in Britain where you are suppose to drive on the wrong side of the road.

In case your parents didn't bother to teach you correct social form, I suggest you take five minutes out of your boring fucking life and learn some social skills. I know I am not the only person in the world that is socially unacceptable appearance wise. But there isn't one person, that was sober, that has met me that will ever tell you I that I don't have social skills. You know why you hate the world? Because you are a whiny little piss monkey with no social skills. Learn some. I guarantee the next time someone says thank you because you held a door open for a little old lady, a little ray of light will break into your woe is me little world.

But have no fear, I'll still hate you even if you open a door for me when I am seventy. And in case you don't hold the fucking door open, I'll run your ass down with my electric cart. Have a nice fucking day.

your bitch.

What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Earlier, the movie Young Frankenstein came up in discussion.  This was a discussion with myself, therefore it took place solely in my head.  At some point, one of the voices decided it would be most amusing to do the musical number where the Monster sings & dances to Puttin' on the Ritz.

As soon as voice one, which we'll call Hester, began to sing, voice two, which we shall call Maynard, laughed hysterically.  About half way through the segment, Maynard comments on how the Monster & Chewbacca should do a duets album.  I pondered this for a moment.  Just then, voice three, otherwise known as Bob, pipes up & says we should throw William Shatner into the mix.

  

With the final addition, we feel we can have a best selling album out by Christmas.  That is if the Monster doesn't get all pissy with his work.  He can be a perfectionist you know.  When he throws a temper tantrum, there's hell to pay too.  With Chewbacca, all we have to worry about is him being off in space.  However, we think we can ground him long enough to get a few songs out of him.  With Shatner, who the hell knows.  As long as he doesn't try to act, we think we'll be OK.  However, we may decide to let the Tribbles or Adrian Zmed guest on his performances to add some credibility.

We figure it will be something like the Three Tenors.  The Monster, Chewbacca & the other guy.  The reviews almost write themselves......

"The Monster's performance of Ave Maria was absolutely breath taking.  Chewbacca has out done himself with Ingemisco.  But who is that other guy?" - Some "critic" we payed the outrageous sum of $0.75 for a good review

Of course espresso will be served by candlelight at the release party.  We aren't sure if the Monster will make an appearance or not.

Yesterday I went to my friendly neighborhood grocery store.  Generally, when I am in any place with strangers, I don't strike up many conversations.  I really don't care about you life.  I get my crap, pay for it & leave.  That's all.  I also don't dress up when I go shopping.  I don't see the point.  I mean, I guess I could have a My Blue Heaven moment where some reject rat mob guy that looks like Steve Martin comes strolling down the aisle & informs me that I could "melt all dis stuff."  However, I don't really see that happening.

As I was saying.... I was in the market, casually dressed wearing the t-shirt below.  Don't know what's on it?  Its the cyrillic alphabet.  At one point in my ill fated college career, I was a Russian major.  Back to the story.  So I thought I was getting out of the joint unscathed.  No chit chat with anyone.  That is until I check out.  The bag girl made me nuts.  She'll talk to anything that doesn't run away.  My guess is that even if it did run away, she would run after all the while yammering.  Apparently I incited her verbal wrath when I asked for paper instead of plastic (I use the paper bags to make patterns).

excuse the crappy picture, the camera needs batteries

Bag girl spies my t-shirt & asks me what in the hell it says.  I kindly imformed her what the shirt was.  Then she asks me how to pronounce it.  So I asked, "Do you say the English alphabet all at once?"  She looked at me like I was a moron.  Next, and this is where it starts to get good, she tells me, "Well, if someone is going to come live in my country, they had best learn to speak my language.  I shouldn't have to learn their's."  OK, since when did this turn into a discussion about immigrants?  I sure don't recall mentioning anything about not knowing English & I sure as hell don't have an accent.  So, I ignored her.

Of course that didn't stop her.  No way.  She was like the Terminator or something.  Either that or she had a death wish.  I have yet to decide.  Apparently, because I am wearing this shirt, I must be Russian.  At least in her mind.  Her next pearl of wisdom?  "I don't know what it is with you people & cabbage."  You people?!?  Sweet Jesus!  I had no clue what to say.  She had me stumped.  For that, I am greatly saddened.  But her complete lack of respect for another human being amazed me.  My father, the hateful bastard that he is, would never even do this.

However, she is still able to one up herself.  I didn't think it was possible.  "And you know, you are all communist too."  I laughed in her face.  The checker was horrified.  Free thinking at its finest people.  This girl couldn't have been more than 16.  I wonder what her parents are like.  Once I was finished laughing, I asked her if she knew who the KGB was.  She nodded, "Communist cops."  That was her reply.  I told her my father was the head of the agency & was still living in Russia.  Her eyes got wide.  I also informed her that he would be sending a couple of field agents that were in the US to visit her.  Her jaw dropped & she walked away.  The cashier & I had a nice little laugh with that one.  Hmmm, I wonder if she jumps every time the phone rings or someone knocks on the door?

Was what I did wrong?  Probably.  And I know two wrongs don't make a right.  However, I let my mouth run.  I was amused anyway.  I'll make sure to go through the line she is working next time I am in there.  I'll just have to remember to wear my Russian film festival shirt.

Word of the Day
asinine - s-nn - adjective
marked by inexcusable failure to exercise intelligence or sound judgment

[Icarus] suggested I use [Freaky Dreams dot com] to interpret the football dream.  I have done just that.  Below are the results.  Mind you, I just C&P'd what I had in my blog because I am lazy & a tiny bit tipsy (Rumplemintz & Guinness as we speak).

Words like : Unexplained. Secret. You are curious about something going on around you.

Words like nephews: Family. Extension of yourself.Fresh blood. You want to start again on an old relationship.  This one scares me for reasons I can not explain at this point in time.

Words like hell: Complete change of your circumstances. Spiritual agony. Lack of control. Torment.

Words like walking: Freedom. Movement. Ask yourself where do you want to go.

Words like house: Financial security. Happiness within the family. Honor and dignity. Being.

Words like kitchen: Nourishment. Productivity. New developments in life.

Words like television: Movement. Images. Virtual reality. There is something that you wish to observe.

Words like boys: Young power developing. Increase in the family.

Words like climbing: Aspiration. Growth with effort. Achievement. Unexpected difficulties.

Words like fair: Social activities of a happy nature. Change for the better.

Words like sister: Family. Fellowship. Fortune .You are aware of your surroundings.

Words like gifts: Recognition. Acknowledgment. Honor. Success and good luck.

Words like purple: Great aspirations and understanding of visible and invisible realms. Take advantage of your creativity.

Every week I find myself watching Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica.  I caught it once when there was nothing better on television.  It happened to be the episode where Jessica isn't sure if tuna is fish or if its chicken.  The can did read Chicken of the Sea, so I can see where a girl can get confused.  But why do I torture myself every week?  I'll tell you.

I have to see how much more stupid this chick can get.  No one should have unleased this on society.  I'm fairly sure her parents decided when she was about 10 that she was the most empty headed child they had seen.  In order to allow her to support herself when she got older, they probably got her some voice lessons.  Lucky for them she turned out to be kinda cute.  That whole being able to support them in their old age thing, a bonus.

This Nick guy had to have been thinking with his peener when he married her.  She makes him nuts.  The only draw had to be the fact that she refused to put out until she had his balls in her handbag.  Really, I get embarassed watching the show.  The worst part, her mother is ALWAYS there.  Whenever Nick asks her to do something, she calls a list of people, her mother included.  She whines about having to do it.  Then her mommy tells her she doesn't have to.

She can't cook, doesn't know how to work a washer, puts nothing away......... she didn't even know if they owned a mop.  And she says the most ignorant things in front of people no less.  Last night, they were sitting around with Nick's brother (who has a name I'm sure, but I don't pay that much attention) & his girlfriend/wife.  Jessica starts in about Nick's hairy asshole.  I wasn't even at the table & I wanted to bitchslap her.  Just ewwwwww.

In conclusion, I watch this show every week.  It makes me feel infinitely more smart.  Hell, my sister has the IQ of a friggin radish & she looks like Wyle E. Coyote, Super Genius next to this one.

Word of the Day
uxorious - uk-SOR-ee-us; ug-ZOR - adjective
excessively fond of, or submissive to, a wife; being a dependent husband

OK first off, I don't like football.  The closest I come to knowing anything about football is knowing the spreads for the college games so I can bet my parlay card every week.  Lately I've been having this damn dream.  It involves myself, my mom, my nephews (all 4 of them) & these two damn football players.

These two guys, whoever the hell they are, are walking around my mom's house like they own the place.  Mom is of course doting over them.  That's not unusal, she dotes over all house guests.  One of the guys is walking around in an apron & helping mom in the kitchen.  The other is watching television with me.  We are sitting on the couch, the two youngest boys climbing the guy like he's an amusement ride.  I get the overwhelming feeling that I want to treat him like some kind of pornographic fair attraction.

There is some chit chat, nothing major.  My sister screaming at the boys.  Mom saying how she was glad they made it.  blah, blah, blah  They boys were wearing midget jerseys they brought them as gifts.  The main color, purple.  So, I went to [NFL.com] to try & figure out who in the hell had purple jerseys.

You see, I can't just chalk it up to some freak thing.  This is the 3rd time I've had this damn dream.  You'd think I would remember more than I do.  But NO!  So, I've spent the last hour & a half looking at team rosters for the Ravens, Vikings & Chargers.  In that order.  My knowledge of football & its players is so limited that I couldn't even write a full page, double-spaced about it.  Anyway, after looking through EVERY last picture, I came to one that twisted my poor little stomach.

This [guy], I don't even find attractive.  Let's make a little check list.

Dark hair - this guy has no hair
Light eyes - ummm no
Over 6' - Nope

See, he's ALL wrong.  Not just a little, but completely wrong.  What the hell is up with this?  I don't recall ever having seen this guy.  Not once in my entire friggin life.  I've never really put much stock into dream interpretation.  I'm a little off my rocker anyway.  But I could at least be dreaming about hot Russian hockey players.  That I could understand. 

Lunch today was uneventful as usual.  I got the tomato slices instead of carrots.  Carrots + celery = EVIL  The two nastiest vegetables on the face of the friggin earth.  While in mid bite, I spy the plate of tomatoes out of the corner of my eye.  It was just a couple slices of tomato sitting on a lettuce leaf, but my mind had other ideas.  Yes, its tame, I know, but you work with what you've got.  Let's just call the speck at the bottom a "blemish". 

Here is some completely random & useless information about your's truly.  I found the little A-Z list on [Miss Nutter's] blog the other day.

A - Act your age - 30.
B - Boyfriend - Negatory.
C - Chore you hate - Cleaning the damn carpet.
D - Dad's name - He disowned me so I don't have one anymore.  The bastard.
E - Essential make up item - Mascara.
F - Favorite actor - Today its Nicolas Cage.  Tomorrow, who knows.
G - Gold or silver - Silver. I'm not J.P. GotRocks for cryin' out loud.
H - Hometown - Dallas, TX.
I - Instruments you play - I use to play violin & viola.  I should take that up again.
J - Job title - Sponge.
K - Kids - Are you insane?
L - Living arrangements - Craptastic apartment in the ghetto.
M - Mum's name - Paula.
N - Number of people you've slept with - That's none of your damn business Capt. Nosey Pants.
O - Overnight hospital stays - One when I was a wee thing.
P - Phobia - Spiders & ugly shoes, especially when they are on good looking men.
Q - Quote you like - "Oh my God!  Woof!!" -- Elizabeth upon seeing the monster's thingie. - Young Frankenstein
R - Religious affiliation - The one over there.
S - Siblings - One sister, one brother.  Both are younger.
T - Time you wake up - Whenever I open my cute little eyes.
U - Unique habit - I have perfect pitch.  Its a curse really.
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat - Celery.
W - Worst habit - My phone voice.  People always think I'm a bill collector.  I should really do commercials or radio.
X - X-rays you've had - A lot.
Y - Yummy food you make - All the pounds of candy I make during the holidays.
Z - Zodiac Sign - I'm a cusp baby so both virgo & libra.  All depends on the chart you use.

I bought shares in the blogs listed below today.  Soon [MissG] & I will own the world!  BWAHAHAHA

10th Letter, Take 2
G Blog
Blogging the Leafs

Word of the Day
antimacassar - æn-ti-mê-'kæ-sê(r) - noun
a cover to protect the back or arms of furniture

Get over to [Baked Chunk] right now!  I think I wet my knickers.

Oh yeah, I spent the last of my Blogshares cash on a few shares in [Up Late With McBain].