Yesterday I went to my friendly neighborhood grocery store.  Generally, when I am in any place with strangers, I don't strike up many conversations.  I really don't care about you life.  I get my crap, pay for it & leave.  That's all.  I also don't dress up when I go shopping.  I don't see the point.  I mean, I guess I could have a My Blue Heaven moment where some reject rat mob guy that looks like Steve Martin comes strolling down the aisle & informs me that I could "melt all dis stuff."  However, I don't really see that happening.

As I was saying.... I was in the market, casually dressed wearing the t-shirt below.  Don't know what's on it?  Its the cyrillic alphabet.  At one point in my ill fated college career, I was a Russian major.  Back to the story.  So I thought I was getting out of the joint unscathed.  No chit chat with anyone.  That is until I check out.  The bag girl made me nuts.  She'll talk to anything that doesn't run away.  My guess is that even if it did run away, she would run after all the while yammering.  Apparently I incited her verbal wrath when I asked for paper instead of plastic (I use the paper bags to make patterns).

excuse the crappy picture, the camera needs batteries

Bag girl spies my t-shirt & asks me what in the hell it says.  I kindly imformed her what the shirt was.  Then she asks me how to pronounce it.  So I asked, "Do you say the English alphabet all at once?"  She looked at me like I was a moron.  Next, and this is where it starts to get good, she tells me, "Well, if someone is going to come live in my country, they had best learn to speak my language.  I shouldn't have to learn their's."  OK, since when did this turn into a discussion about immigrants?  I sure don't recall mentioning anything about not knowing English & I sure as hell don't have an accent.  So, I ignored her.

Of course that didn't stop her.  No way.  She was like the Terminator or something.  Either that or she had a death wish.  I have yet to decide.  Apparently, because I am wearing this shirt, I must be Russian.  At least in her mind.  Her next pearl of wisdom?  "I don't know what it is with you people & cabbage."  You people?!?  Sweet Jesus!  I had no clue what to say.  She had me stumped.  For that, I am greatly saddened.  But her complete lack of respect for another human being amazed me.  My father, the hateful bastard that he is, would never even do this.

However, she is still able to one up herself.  I didn't think it was possible.  "And you know, you are all communist too."  I laughed in her face.  The checker was horrified.  Free thinking at its finest people.  This girl couldn't have been more than 16.  I wonder what her parents are like.  Once I was finished laughing, I asked her if she knew who the KGB was.  She nodded, "Communist cops."  That was her reply.  I told her my father was the head of the agency & was still living in Russia.  Her eyes got wide.  I also informed her that he would be sending a couple of field agents that were in the US to visit her.  Her jaw dropped & she walked away.  The cashier & I had a nice little laugh with that one.  Hmmm, I wonder if she jumps every time the phone rings or someone knocks on the door?

Was what I did wrong?  Probably.  And I know two wrongs don't make a right.  However, I let my mouth run.  I was amused anyway.  I'll make sure to go through the line she is working next time I am in there.  I'll just have to remember to wear my Russian film festival shirt.

Word of the Day
asinine - s-nn - adjective
marked by inexcusable failure to exercise intelligence or sound judgment

[Icarus] suggested I use [Freaky Dreams dot com] to interpret the football dream.  I have done just that.  Below are the results.  Mind you, I just C&P'd what I had in my blog because I am lazy & a tiny bit tipsy (Rumplemintz & Guinness as we speak).

Words like : Unexplained. Secret. You are curious about something going on around you.

Words like nephews: Family. Extension of yourself.Fresh blood. You want to start again on an old relationship.  This one scares me for reasons I can not explain at this point in time.

Words like hell: Complete change of your circumstances. Spiritual agony. Lack of control. Torment.

Words like walking: Freedom. Movement. Ask yourself where do you want to go.

Words like house: Financial security. Happiness within the family. Honor and dignity. Being.

Words like kitchen: Nourishment. Productivity. New developments in life.

Words like television: Movement. Images. Virtual reality. There is something that you wish to observe.

Words like boys: Young power developing. Increase in the family.

Words like climbing: Aspiration. Growth with effort. Achievement. Unexpected difficulties.

Words like fair: Social activities of a happy nature. Change for the better.

Words like sister: Family. Fellowship. Fortune .You are aware of your surroundings.

Words like gifts: Recognition. Acknowledgment. Honor. Success and good luck.

Words like purple: Great aspirations and understanding of visible and invisible realms. Take advantage of your creativity.

Every week I find myself watching Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica.  I caught it once when there was nothing better on television.  It happened to be the episode where Jessica isn't sure if tuna is fish or if its chicken.  The can did read Chicken of the Sea, so I can see where a girl can get confused.  But why do I torture myself every week?  I'll tell you.

I have to see how much more stupid this chick can get.  No one should have unleased this on society.  I'm fairly sure her parents decided when she was about 10 that she was the most empty headed child they had seen.  In order to allow her to support herself when she got older, they probably got her some voice lessons.  Lucky for them she turned out to be kinda cute.  That whole being able to support them in their old age thing, a bonus.

This Nick guy had to have been thinking with his peener when he married her.  She makes him nuts.  The only draw had to be the fact that she refused to put out until she had his balls in her handbag.  Really, I get embarassed watching the show.  The worst part, her mother is ALWAYS there.  Whenever Nick asks her to do something, she calls a list of people, her mother included.  She whines about having to do it.  Then her mommy tells her she doesn't have to.

She can't cook, doesn't know how to work a washer, puts nothing away......... she didn't even know if they owned a mop.  And she says the most ignorant things in front of people no less.  Last night, they were sitting around with Nick's brother (who has a name I'm sure, but I don't pay that much attention) & his girlfriend/wife.  Jessica starts in about Nick's hairy asshole.  I wasn't even at the table & I wanted to bitchslap her.  Just ewwwwww.

In conclusion, I watch this show every week.  It makes me feel infinitely more smart.  Hell, my sister has the IQ of a friggin radish & she looks like Wyle E. Coyote, Super Genius next to this one.

Word of the Day
uxorious - uk-SOR-ee-us; ug-ZOR - adjective
excessively fond of, or submissive to, a wife; being a dependent husband

OK first off, I don't like football.  The closest I come to knowing anything about football is knowing the spreads for the college games so I can bet my parlay card every week.  Lately I've been having this damn dream.  It involves myself, my mom, my nephews (all 4 of them) & these two damn football players.

These two guys, whoever the hell they are, are walking around my mom's house like they own the place.  Mom is of course doting over them.  That's not unusal, she dotes over all house guests.  One of the guys is walking around in an apron & helping mom in the kitchen.  The other is watching television with me.  We are sitting on the couch, the two youngest boys climbing the guy like he's an amusement ride.  I get the overwhelming feeling that I want to treat him like some kind of pornographic fair attraction.

There is some chit chat, nothing major.  My sister screaming at the boys.  Mom saying how she was glad they made it.  blah, blah, blah  They boys were wearing midget jerseys they brought them as gifts.  The main color, purple.  So, I went to [NFL.com] to try & figure out who in the hell had purple jerseys.

You see, I can't just chalk it up to some freak thing.  This is the 3rd time I've had this damn dream.  You'd think I would remember more than I do.  But NO!  So, I've spent the last hour & a half looking at team rosters for the Ravens, Vikings & Chargers.  In that order.  My knowledge of football & its players is so limited that I couldn't even write a full page, double-spaced about it.  Anyway, after looking through EVERY last picture, I came to one that twisted my poor little stomach.

This [guy], I don't even find attractive.  Let's make a little check list.

Dark hair - this guy has no hair
Light eyes - ummm no
Over 6' - Nope

See, he's ALL wrong.  Not just a little, but completely wrong.  What the hell is up with this?  I don't recall ever having seen this guy.  Not once in my entire friggin life.  I've never really put much stock into dream interpretation.  I'm a little off my rocker anyway.  But I could at least be dreaming about hot Russian hockey players.  That I could understand. 

Lunch today was uneventful as usual.  I got the tomato slices instead of carrots.  Carrots + celery = EVIL  The two nastiest vegetables on the face of the friggin earth.  While in mid bite, I spy the plate of tomatoes out of the corner of my eye.  It was just a couple slices of tomato sitting on a lettuce leaf, but my mind had other ideas.  Yes, its tame, I know, but you work with what you've got.  Let's just call the speck at the bottom a "blemish". 

Here is some completely random & useless information about your's truly.  I found the little A-Z list on [Miss Nutter's] blog the other day.

A - Act your age - 30.
B - Boyfriend - Negatory.
C - Chore you hate - Cleaning the damn carpet.
D - Dad's name - He disowned me so I don't have one anymore.  The bastard.
E - Essential make up item - Mascara.
F - Favorite actor - Today its Nicolas Cage.  Tomorrow, who knows.
G - Gold or silver - Silver. I'm not J.P. GotRocks for cryin' out loud.
H - Hometown - Dallas, TX.
I - Instruments you play - I use to play violin & viola.  I should take that up again.
J - Job title - Sponge.
K - Kids - Are you insane?
L - Living arrangements - Craptastic apartment in the ghetto.
M - Mum's name - Paula.
N - Number of people you've slept with - That's none of your damn business Capt. Nosey Pants.
O - Overnight hospital stays - One when I was a wee thing.
P - Phobia - Spiders & ugly shoes, especially when they are on good looking men.
Q - Quote you like - "Oh my God!  Woof!!" -- Elizabeth upon seeing the monster's thingie. - Young Frankenstein
R - Religious affiliation - The one over there.
S - Siblings - One sister, one brother.  Both are younger.
T - Time you wake up - Whenever I open my cute little eyes.
U - Unique habit - I have perfect pitch.  Its a curse really.
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat - Celery.
W - Worst habit - My phone voice.  People always think I'm a bill collector.  I should really do commercials or radio.
X - X-rays you've had - A lot.
Y - Yummy food you make - All the pounds of candy I make during the holidays.
Z - Zodiac Sign - I'm a cusp baby so both virgo & libra.  All depends on the chart you use.

I bought shares in the blogs listed below today.  Soon [MissG] & I will own the world!  BWAHAHAHA

10th Letter, Take 2
G Blog
Blogging the Leafs

Word of the Day
antimacassar - æn-ti-mê-'kæ-sê(r) - noun
a cover to protect the back or arms of furniture

Get over to [Baked Chunk] right now!  I think I wet my knickers.

Oh yeah, I spent the last of my Blogshares cash on a few shares in [Up Late With McBain].

Which Rocky character are you?

I have come to realize that I check out [Miss Ginger's] blog a lot.  Maybe too much.  But hell, I have to live vicariously through someone that has a life.  She just happens to be the lucky, or unlucky depending on your point of view, victim. 

So this morning I come to check everything out.  If you read her blog, you'll understand this next part, but I'm not going to borrow that too.  I was going back trying to remember all the musicians I have met.  There are a lot.  I lived for music in my younger days.  There was a family friend at Sony, someone I met & hung out with at Warner & the fact that I worked at Z-Rock in Dallas for some time.  Not to mention I was so well liked at one of the clubs that always hosted national acts, that I came & went as I pleased at any time of the day.  I think I've only ever paid to see a handful of shows & those were all when I was in high school.  Translation..... I use to have a life.

I carted people around, dragged some out of strip joints so they could make it on stage within a reasonable amount of start time & went to industry parties.  Those were the best.  Open bar & I was underage.

It was while I was working at Z-Rock in the early 90's that I came to know the existence of a little band by the name of [Type O Negative].  It was just before Christian Woman really hit.  Well, in Dallas anyway.  I was obsessed.  Their front man, Peter Steele, was the epitomy of my perfect man.  Tall, dark hair, light eyes & a voice to die for.  Especially the voice.  I was smitten before I ever saw a picture.

When they came to town & played a crappy little hole in the wall called The Basement, I was of course there.  I waited in line like everyone else, but was pulled out & taken in by one of the people I worked with at the station.  I got to be right up front.  I thought I had died & gone to some twisted version of heaven.  I also got trampled.  Such is life.  After the show, we were standing around talking as usual.  So I'm standing their flapping my gums, back to the side door, when all of a sudden there is something huge standing beside me.  It was something out of a bad movie.  Cue the slow motion as I turn.  Look up.  I think I pissed myself.  There in all his glory stood Peter.  Me, being the monumental dumbass that I am, just stood there gape mouthed.

That's right kids, I couldn't say a damn thing.  I think he liked tormenting me.  The people from the station were laughing.  In hindsight, I think one of the DJs set me up.  It all worked out too perfect.  He chuckled at me.  I went back into the club.  A missed opportunity kids.

Now that I'm older & wiser *snicker*, I would like to do things differently, given the opportunity again.  Say a nice bottle of wine & conversation.  I'd like to pick his brain.  Although, I think mine would be the one getting picked.  Oh well.  It still remains that after all this time, I still have the hots for the guy. *shrug*

Word of the Day
deleterious - deh-luh-TEER-ee-uss - adjective
harmful often in a subtle or unexpected way

Kids, there is a "Save Draft" button for a reason.  Use it.  This has been a public service announcement brought to you by my current frustration.

The other day I was doing some light reading over at the [Noodleshop], when I happened across an entry about Blogshares.  I toodled on over & signed up.  I have done nothing with it since.  So let's put this puppy up & see if I can't get some sucker to buy some shares.

Nothing exciting to report from Sin City.  Nothing blew up & no casinos were robbed.  However, I did have a delightful breakfast over at the entirely too trendy Palms.  If you are in town, mosey on down there.  Then get back to me on something.

Is it just me or does everyone in the damn place dress the same?  I'm not talking employess either Einstein.  I'm talking patrons, customers or suckers.  You choose.  What is it with people all wanting to dress the same?  Its getting to where you can't pick the hookers at the craps table out from the actual paying customers (pun intended).  Something needs to be done about this.  Apparently, there was a mass lobotomy on society when I wasn't looking.  From what I can tell, they only scrambled the part of the brain used for determining originality.  Sorry, sheep is not a good look for me.  In any season.

On a lighter note.....  I've been listed over at [Ginger's Dish].  She thinks I'm amusing.  Weird, I think she's the one that's amusing.  At any rate, get your patootie on over there & check her out!  And while you are checking things out, step on over to these little gems:
Baked Chunk
Josie Nutter

Now, what you have all been waiting for I'm sure.  Its Word of the Day time!  YAY!

haruspex - huh-RUSS-peks - noun
a diviner in ancient Rome basing his predictions on inspection of the entrails of sacrificial animals

YUMMY!  Consider yourself enlightened.

P.S.  I almost forgot.  The terror alert over there.... I saw that at [Miss Ginger's] place.