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Monday, October 27, 2003
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Ever since Shane died, I have just retreated to some place inside myself. Today, I was thinking about my financial situation, or should I say, lack thereof.
When I was a kid, my parents both worked. We had a roof over our head & some form of food on the table. We didn't have much. Sometimes the electricity or water would get cut off. We'd eat beans & cornbread for a week. But none the less, we were healthy & safe.
After my mom had my little brother, things got even more tough. By the time I was 13 I was caring for a 3 year old. When money is tight, you can't afford day care. So, I spent my summers at home cooking, cleaning & caring for a kid. I was also a soap opera fiend, but that's a story for another day. Those summers spent at home are the reason I don't want kids. I know how much of a responsibility they are. I also know that I don't have the temperment for it. But in the long run, I think its better that I found that out early. Too bad more people don't have that opportunity.
But this is about other things. Not kids having kids. I think about all my personal problems. They may not actually be problems, but to me they are. Then I think I should count myself lucky. In the grand scheme of things, I know that I am. I mean, I have a roof over my head, food, my bills are paid every month & I have the little luxuries in life (computer, cell, soda in the fridge etc.). My self proclaimed problems, don't amount to jack when you think about it.
I'm not one to complain about things of that nature. Oh I complain alright, just not about personal stuff. It kills me when I'm out & I hear people bitching about not having enough money for this or that all the while they are pumping countless amounts off cash through a dollar video poker machine. It makes me ill. Was I the only person born with any amount of common sense? I think not.
My point is this. When you start to think about how bad you imagine yourself to have it, think about this. You're alive. More than likely you have a place to live. You are able to read this so you either have a computer at home or have access to one. You probably ate at least one meal today in the comfort of your own home. You don't really have it that bad. I'm a terminal optimist for the most part. I believe that you can turn every super crappy situation into something decent. If you try that is. So my suggestion, try to turn the next crappy thing that happens to you into something not so crappy. You can do it if you want to. All you have to do is try. Maybe if more people did that, there wouldn't be so many miserable assholes walking the face of the earth.
Word of the Day
optimism -  p t -m z m - noun
1. a doctrine that this world is the best possible world
2. an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome
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