They took Shane off the ventilator today. I was out when Mom called to tell me. I made it through lunch & only cried at the end. After lunch, I sat down at a machine & ordered a shot of Rumplemintz & a Guinness. I remember looking at my phone for the time because I wanted to know what was taking the cocktail waitress so fucking long. It was 1:58 pm. The waitress arrived soon after.

I sat there for maybe a minute & looked at my drinks sitting there on the machine cabinet. I picked up my shot & said to myself "This is for you Shane. I love you." and downed it. It couldn't have been 15 seconds later as my throat was still stinging, that 3 Doors Down came on in the casino. It was When I'm Gone. I lost it. At 2:14 pm, my phone rings. Its Mom. She told me that Shane was gone. He took his last precious breath at about 4 pm CST or 2 pm my time.

Was it a coincidence? Probably. But its funny how it worked out. I miss him so much.


3 Doors Down - When I'm Gone

There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There's secrets in this life
That I can't hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away...
Maybe I'm just blind...

Maybe I'm just blind...

[chorus]
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything you need
I'll also be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
[end chorus]

Love me when I'm gone...

When your education x-ray
Can not see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone

[chorus]

Maybe I'm just blind...

[chorus]

Love me when I'm gone...

Love me when I'm gone
When I'm Gone
When I'm Gone
When I'm Gone